Separation and Divorce Coaching

Divorce or separation and the breakdown of a family has an enormous emotional impact on all those involved. The experience of going through this process can often cause individuals to feel lost, stuck and unable to cope, with many struggling with their sense of identity as a consequence.

At IBB Law, we pride ourselves on supporting and advising people with the legal and practical issues they need to work through when going through a divorce or separation. We are also aware that the emotional side of divorce and the impact it can have on people’s wellbeing is just as important as the practical and legal advice people receive.

As family lawyers, we often see clients struggling with their future decisions, including arrangements for children and co-parenting. People often find themselves unable to focus or make decisions about issues such as where they are going to live, what will happen to their children and how they will fund their outgoings in the future. – These issues can quickly become overwhelming at what is already a difficult time.

Clients often rely on us as family lawyers for referrals to other professional advisers for issues such as financial planning, tax advice and pension calculations. We believe it is equally as important to be able to refer clients to people who can care for their mental and emotional wellbeing.

Coaching provides impartial, third-party support and emotional guidance. A good coach will use a range of strategies to help individuals work through the feelings and emotions that arise when a relationship ends and work with them to develop coping strategies tailored for their life ahead.

To make sure our clients are getting the very best help for all of the ways in which the end of a relationship can affect them, we have partnered with divorce and separation coach Sarah Chaplin-Lee to explore the benefits of expert coaching during these difficult times.

In the video below, Kate Ryan, a partner in IBB Law’s Family & Matrimonial Team, talks to Sarah Chaplin-Lee about how she works and how coaching benefits clients going through a family breakdown.

What is a coach?

A coach is a professional expert who helps people to deal with the emotional fallout of divorce and any issues stemming from their relationship prior to the divorce. They aim to improve clients’ wellbeing and resilience, allowing them to better deal with their situation and to be able to move forward with their lives.

A good coach should have professional training grounded in disciplines, such as psychotherapy, neuroscience and wellbeing, taking a rigorous, research-led approach.

How does a coach work?

Coaching is a talking discipline based around natural conversations between coach and client. The coach will listen and pay attention to what they are hearing, bringing impartiality, with no agenda or pre-conceived ideas about the client and their situation.

A coach will focus on helping clients to understand their situation, process their own feelings and deal with any trauma that may be holding them back. This should ultimately enable the client to be better able to make good decisions and manage their situation.

A coach will work with a client over a number of sessions, depending on exactly what the client needs support with and how quickly they feel they are progressing.

Coaching can take place in person or via videoconferencing, and additional support can sometimes be given in other ways, such as through phone calls and email.

What sort of issues can a divorce coach help with?

A coach can help with any of the personal, emotional issues people experience when going through divorce or separation. Some of the most common issues people come to divorce coaches for assistance with include:

• Maintaining and improving their relationships with their children during and after a separation
• Blended families – how this will work and how to create a functional, emotionally healthy blended family
• Identity and self-worth – where people are struggling with who they are and their self-perceived value after the end of a relationship

Exactly what support a coach offers will depend on the needs of their clients and their own particular areas of expertise.

What can someone expect to get out of working with a  coach?

The benefits a client will get from coaching will depend on what they need help with and their own personal challenges, but common outcomes you might be able to achieve include:

• Challenging unhelpful thinking patterns or stuck ways of behaving
• Opening your mind and expanding your awareness of what is possible for you
• Making changes to your outlook and behaviour in a way that is authentic for you
• Being more able to make decisions about moving forward
• Learning to navigate this major life transition and emerge from the other side
• Developing the tools to avoid staying stuck in the trauma from a situation and from the past
• Making sense of what’s happened, what it means for you and reframing it so you can decide what you want and how you want to move forward
• Having a better relationship with your children, your ex-partner and others
• Building successful blended families
• Improving your sense of identity and self-worth
• Better understanding of what your loved ones need from you
• Improving your wellbeing so you can then start to feel more effective and capable
• Identifying your skills and competencies
• Identifying what you want and how this aligns with your feelings and values

Speak to us about help with the legal and practical side of divorce and separation and advice on working with a coach

To find out more about how our divorce lawyers can help with a separation, please take a look at our divorce services.

For expert advice on dealing with any aspect of divorce, you can speak to us in absolute confidence by contacting your local IBB Law office in Beaconsfield, Reading, Ascot or Uxbridge.

Alternatively, you can email us at familylaw@ibblaw.co.uk.