Life coaching: a path to a happier future

Charlotte Southworth chats to Mikki Gaskell about life coaching, and the three important questions to ask yourself for a happier future.

Mikki Gaskell’s passion for human development and transformation began when she was a teenager and for more than 30 years, she has studied the many ways the human mind can function. After a series of traumatic events, resulting in the loss of her eldest son, she and her family moved out of London to the beautiful Chiltern Hills. Over time and with coaching, she reshaped the next chapter of her life and she is passionate about sharing how powerful the coaching process can be.

Relationship breakdown can be traumatic, causing both emotional and financial upheaval and, in many cases, turning your life upside down. It can be exceptionally difficult to imagine a happy and fulfilled life at the other end of the divorce or separation process. Whether you are considering ending your relationship or are faced with that decision having been made by your partner, Mikki’s three important questions can help you focus on a happier future.

1. WHAT IS THE “WHY”?

To find clarity, fulfilment and meaning in your life, it’s essential to know your “why”. It gives you the purpose, motivation and courage to achieve your goals and it’ll also help you face any challenging times ahead.

The easiest way to discover your “why” is having insight into these 4 areas within yourself:

i. Values: These are intangible, can change over time and can also be situational – for example, what is true for you at work may not be true for you at home.
ii. Innate Strengths: What are your innate abilities? Are you naturally detail orientated, a leader, a creative who thinks outside of the box, a great communicator?
iii. Passions: What gets you excited and lights you up? What makes you want to do it no matter what anyone else says or thinks about it?
iv. Skills/Expertise: Where can you add the most value? Your skills, knowledge and experience can help you focus on the paths where you are most likely to succeed and find the greatest sense of accomplishment and contribution.

1. IS THERE JOY?

Studies show that when you’re feeling good, you are more open to moments of inspiration and ideas that in turn can lead you to better decision making and a happier future.

Humans were born intrinsically knowing that life is supposed to be fun! It isn’t enough for us to simply work towards accumulating money and accomplishments, we’re also wired for the need to feel more joy in our day to day lives, which then sets us up to live a happier future.

It is therefore vital for us to incorporate elements of happiness into every single day – looking forward to a holiday once or twice a year for example, simply isn’t enough for us (because the holiday itself invariably doesn’t last long enough, the weather may turn out to be disappointing, arguments can arise and so on).

The key to feeling more joy starts with knowing what it is that you love to do and then making a conscious effort to incorporate elements of enjoyment into each day, even if it’s for a short period of time. Look for the things that make you feel good, it may be walking the dog, listening to music, enjoying being with friends or colleagues etc. Each day needs to include things that bring you joy, it doesn’t matter what it is, it only matters that you feel good when you’re doing it.

3. WHERE IS MY FOCUS?

What you’re focused on right now can determine which path you’re going down leading towards your future. It is therefore vital that you place your focus on what you want.  If you’re unhappy with your current reality focusing on the following 8 words can help you get unstuck and create a happier future:

1. Clarity – get really clear about what you want and keep it to the forefront of your mind.
2. Abundance – focus on what you have that’s already working for you as well as what you want more of.
3. Passion – think about what lights you up and what makes you feel full of life.
4. Eagerness – find subjects about which you can get excited, hopeful and looking forward to the future.
5. Purpose – if you know what this is then spend time thinking about it and tweaking it if necessary. If you’re unsure then try and work out “what is your why”.
6. Decisiveness – work on your confidence to “go for it”. Remember nothing is set in stone and you can always change things.
7. Love – it comes in all different forms, make an effort to notice the variety of ways it’s showing up in your life.
8. Appreciation – look around and constantly acknowledge the things that are working for you, the things that you love, the things that bring you joy. Keeping a daily gratitude journal can be a helpful way to focus your mind and remind you of the day to day examples.

To read more about Mikki and her coaching, please visit her website: https://www.mikkigaskell.co.uk/.